


Harry Potter Oneshots collection

by Martin_Bajar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-07 15:41:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 13,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12235830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Martin_Bajar/pseuds/Martin_Bajar
Summary: This contains various oneshots, about small things that could have a severe impact on canonI also have a few in which I take a recurring Harry Potter fanfic theme; in which I consider it strange for Harry Potter (or a girl-potter in one of those cases), to go along with itOne of them doesn't contain Harry Potter himself and is a crossover with SherlockWARNING, I really don't like Dumbledore and I do not agree with the Ginny-Harry pairing at all (given the fact that the only real difference between Ginny and Colin Creevey is her gender)





	1. Digging Tunnels

“Say what you want about James, but you know he trusts Dumbledore way too much”, Lily told Sirius, “I understand that you want to provide additional security by having someone else being our secret keeper and drawing attention to yourself. But contrary to the Headmaster I don’t think it’s enough. I want you to cast a Fidelius with myself as secretkeeper, follow me.”

 

Lily showed Sirius the tunnel she had dug under their basement (it didn’t surface anywhere, but ended in a small underground cavern with beds, food, drinks and toys), “we can hide here if necessary, I already placed a ward on the street to warn us. This is also far beyond the range of transport wards Moldyshorts would put up. I want this room to be hidden.”

 

Not complaining at all, Sirius cast the charm, he also took a necklace Lily had enchanted, “if I break my necklace, yours will break as well, then you will have to apparate directly here.”

 

 

Lily’s best friends, Alice Longbottom née Rosier and Selene Lovegood née Malfoy (Selene had convinced her father to banish her from the Malfoy family before her brother could become the family head), had had the same kind of tunnels placed on their properties. Also without their family being aware.

 

 

On that Halloween, James was ready to commit suicide-by-Dark-Lord when Lily showed him a piece of paper:

 

_The Secret Escape Tunnel is hidden beneath the basement._

 

Lily vanished the paper, “go with Harry, I’ll be along in a few seconds, I won’t take any risks.”

 

 

When the Dark Lord was inside the house, Lily activated the wards she had painstakingly created (while activating those while under the Fidelius would break the Fidelius, that hardly mattered anymore), these wards sealed the house from all exits apart from the tunnel. She then unleashed fiendfyre before running as fast as she could through the tunnel.

 

“What did you do?” James asked, while happy to be alive, he was a bit shocked about his wife keeping all this a secret from him.

 

“I created wards to seal the house, I activated them as soon as Moldyshorts was inside the house and then unleashed fiendfyre”, Lily replied. She then noticed Sirius, “can you go upstairs, I’ve just had the wards on the street pinged by Hagrid, just go and see what he wants.”

 

 

Sirius activated his two-way mirror and did as asked. “What are you doing here?” Sirius asked, as far as he knew Hagrid had not been given the secret at all, so he was kind of surprised he even found this place.

 

“Dumbledore send me here, great man”, Hagrid replied, not seeing any harm in answering the question, “I was supposed to bring young Harry to Privet Drive in Surrey.”

 

“Sirius give Hagrid your mirror”, Lily ordered. As soon as Sirius had done so, she bluntly stated, “my son will never ever be going anywhere near that place.”

 

“Dumbledore said you died”, Hagrid was shocked.

 

“We would have had I not made my own preparations”, Lily replied, “just go home.”

 

 

James and Sirius arrived at the Ministry just as Dumbledore was telling the Wizengamot it was imperative to hunt down Sirius Black and seal the Potter Wills. “Anyone going after Sirius Black shall go through me”, James Potter bluntly stated, “our secret keeper was Peter Pettigrew, who is a rat animagus, I can provide pictures. Furthermore, as we are quite alive, there is no point in sealing our Wills. Which upon itself is a crime against the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter and wholly against the Wizarding charter. It was my wife Lily who killed Voldemort, not our son. Last but not least, as Head of House Potter, I move for a vote of no confidence in Albus Dumbledore as his latest actions prove he is no longer capable of holding his posts.”

 

The fact that House Potter (Lily to be exact, but who cared) had just destroyed Voldemort convinced the majority to agree. Dumbledore soon found himself voted out of his ICW appointment and the position of Chief Warlock.

 

 

As soon as they were alone, James cast privacy wards, “Headmaster, I suggest you now talk about why exactly you took it upon yourself to try and usurp guardianship over my son and place him with the Dursleys of all people. I do suggest you remember that causing a child to become an obscurial is a crime punishable by the Veil.”

 

Dumbledore brought up his blood wards, before being interrupted by the recently arrived Lily, “as you can see we are more than capable of protecting ourselves. And then there is the fact that I doubt Mouldyshorts can survive fiendfyre, before you ask, Minister Bagnold already signed a pardon for my use of fiendfyre against another human being.”

 

Dumbledore was not happy, Voldemort was supposed to have killed James and Lily and be killed by a returned killing curse. Then Sirius was supposed to go to Azkaban without a trial (as that would prove him innocent), allowing him to place Harry with the Dursleys. He had even written the boy-who-lived books that would come out in a few years. Now all that was for nothing because Lily couldn’t help but ruin all his plans. To make everything worse, now Sirius and James no longer followed him (Dumbledore didn’t even consider the fact that he had caused all this himself).


	2. No Tournament for Me

Harry was a bit disgruntled, which idiot allowed an artefact like the Goblet of Fire to even continue existing? At least he had Luna’s friendship now (contrary what the idiots bullying her thought, she was not loony, but a gifted seer), he knew that if the Goblet remained, he would be forced to compete in the tournament.

 

“Dobby”, Harry stated, “I need your help.”

 

“The Great and Kind Master Harry Potter calls for Dobby”, the exited elf popped in.

 

“Are you able to pass through the age line created by Dumbledore around the Goblet of Fire Dobby?” Harry asked, “if you can, could you please take the Goblet away and throw it into an active volcano?”

 

“Dobby will”, Dobby popped away.

 

 

The next morning, Barty Crouch jr. was panicking, he hadn’t been able to throw Harry’s name in just yet, how was he supposed to force him to compete?

 

Dumbledore was also panicking, Harry was supposed to be lured to Voldemort after the third task (he had already interrogated Crouch jr. before obliviating him the moment the man had entered the castle, as if Dumbledore couldn’t differentiate between an impostor and the real Alastor Moody). Now all his plans for the Greater Good were failing.


	3. Sherlock's Cousin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter doesn't contain Harry Potter himself: only McGonagall, Hermione and Sherlock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN  
> If anyone is interested, this might have potential as a full fic  
> AN

“My name is Minerva McGonagall”, the old woman introduced herself, “I am...”

 

“A teacher”, Sherlock interrupted, “obviously a witch as well, so you come from Hogwarts in order to explain about my cousin being a witch and handing over a letter to Hogwarts.”

 

“How do you?” McGonagall began asking.

 

“Your stance indicates you are used to dealing with children”, Hermione explained, “but not in a way a social worker would, ergo a teacher. While not as obvious as most of them, your clothing is still clearly recognizable as clothing worn by witches trying to pass for non-witches. Then there is the wand. Every September, hundreds of children gather at King’s Cross between platforms nine and ten. All of them eleven to seventeen years old. Obviously for a magic school. The letter is sticking out of your pocket, with my name on the envelope. I’m obviously a witch myself, otherwise I couldn’t have levitated my books the other day, I’m also eleven.”

 

“It’s not as if your people actually try to stay hidden”, Sherlock added, upon seeing McGonagall’s face, he continued, “I stand corrected, they do try, they are just idiots.”

 

“Didn’t Mycroft ask to keep them under the illusion they are succeeding in trying to stay hidden?” Hermione asked.

 

“He merely suggested”, Sherlock retorted, “I ignored him.”

 

“Most people are stupid and thereby reinforce the illusion”, Hermione supposed.

 

 

Hermione became a Ravenclaw. By the end of her first month at Hogwarts, Hermione discovered Voldemort at the back of professor Quirrell’s head. Found the Chamber of Secrets (no, she wasn’t able to use Parseltongue, but TNT did open it) and unleashed a rooster on the basilisk inside. The rest of the year went by uneventful, apart from her easily managing to find a red stone in a third floor corridor.

 

The next year, she found the youngest Weasley writing in a dark book, she send it to cousin Mycroft, who identified it as a Horcrux. During the next summer, Hermione and cousin Sherlock tracked down the other Horcruxes and destroyed them.


	4. About Amortentia (NOT a Molly bashing story)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story does not bash Molly Weasley

“Merlin no”, Molly was shocked that Hermione actually thought she had used a keyed love potion on Arthur, “that would be the worst way to start a relationship ever. I’ve always been of the opinion that using a keyed love potion on someone should be punished with a life sentence in Azkaban, the only real difference between Amortentia and the Imperius Curse is that the second one can be resisted. I simply noticed that Arthur kept staring at me, mostly because I did the same with him. The only reason I didn’t initiate conversation was because in my time witches just didn’t do so.”

 

“Then how did you use a love potion?” Ginny was surprised (and starting to realise that her mother wouldn’t approve of her plans for Harry).

 

“If Amortentia isn’t keyed to anyone”, Molly explained, “and you really love someone, it will smell like that person. It is quite easy to detect whether it has been keyed to someone. But I think I’ll let Alastor explain, he’s better at detection charms.” The rest of the Order members present had been drawn to the conversation.

 

Molly filled three glasses with water, after which she took out a magically sealed vial containing Amortentia, “I only have this as an antidote for Amortentia, unkeyed Amortentia counteracts keyed Amortentia.”

 

Making sure that no one saw her doing it (apart from Mad-Eye that is), Molly poured a few drops in two of the glasses, adding one of her own hair in one of those as well.

 

 

“I used water because that way, you can still smell the Amortentia”, Molly explained, she had resealed the vial.

 

“But most people won’t give you it in water, because you would smell something’s off”, Mad-Eye added, he cast a charm to ensure that no one would be able to smell the content of the three glasses. The charm is quite simple, use it on your food and drinks and you will know whether it contains mind controlling potions. Stiúir.” One of the glasses glowed green for a short while, “Potter, you are next. Don’t worry, the Ministry can’t detect magic used under a Fidelius.” The underage students present immediately glared towards Molly who had had them clean the house without magic.

 

 

After all the kids (and some of the adults) had successfully cast the charm, Mad-Eye lifted the charm which removed the scent.

 

“As you can notice”, Molly took over, “this glass smells like my perfume, while this glass has a different smell for everyone. The third glass has no smell at all.”

 

“For me both smell the same”, Arthur added with a smile.

 

 

“Ginny”, Harry pointedly remarked, “the only unicorn I ever saw was dead, I don’t know whose scent you smell when sniffing the potion, but it is most certainly not mine.”

 

“Of course you have seen unicorns”, Ginny objected, she ran to the room she and Hermione shared and returned with a book, ‘Harry Potter and the Unicorn Princess’.

 

“Uh Ginny, you do know those books are fiction, do you?” Bill Weasley really hoped that was the case, “it even says so on the title page. How did you even get a hold of that rubbish?”

 

 

Bill Weasley finally decided to ignore his parents’ protests (they had never been willing to accept for either Charlie or Bill to financially support them, even though they had the money to spare), as he paid for a mind healer to try and work with his sister. It took years, but the damage done to Ginny in her first year (which turned out to be the reason she had never realized that Harry and the boy-who-lived from her books, just weren’t the same person), was finally at least somewhat counteracted. Harry would never marry into the Weasley family. Neither would Hermione.


	5. Hell No Dumbledore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN  
> As warned before, this is the one (maybe later one there will be more, I don't know yet) fem!potter story
> 
> I've found many fics in which a fem!potter is forced by Dumbledore to pretend being Harry James Potter (even though this Harry James Potter is a fiction created by Dumbledore); I thought, how about writing this with a fem!potter who doesn't cooperate (and rightly so)  
> AN

Alyssa Lilith Potter was not happy at all, who did this Albus Dumbledore think he is? Only a few weeks ago, the old man had come to the Dursleys and told a long story coming down to him telling her she would have to pretend to be a boy at Hogwarts. Apparently the old man had told the wizarding world she was a he named Harry James Potter. The ridiculous notion that it was for her safety was of course disregarded, pretending to be a well known fictional character with enemies was most certainly not something that would keep her safe. If the old man really wanted her safe, he would let her study at Hogwarts under her mother’s maiden name or so. Alyssa Lilith Evans wouldn’t be a well known name after all. Which made her disregard Dumbledore being her friend, given that she had told him exactly that and the old man had ignored her.

 

“Actually I’m not”, Alyssa replied, “Harry James Potter doesn’t even exist. The only reason I look like the fictional character is because the old man Dumbledore has lied to the world and told them I’m a Harry James Potter. Just take off this necklace, the old man made it so that I can’t take it off myself.”

 

Susan Bones did as asked, after which Alyssa’s appearance changed to a young black haired girl with green eyes. “Would you mind if I contact my aunt about this? She is the Director of the DMLE.”

 

“What’s the DMLE?” Alyssa asked.

 

“Magical law enforcement”, Susan explained, “forcing a girl to pretend to be a boy is most certainly not legal. Auntie has been trying to get dirt on Dumbledore for years.”

 

“That would be even better than what I planned, namely walking into the Great Hall without this damn thing and simply not replying when they call for a Harry James Potter, who after all doesn’t exist”, Alyssa supposed, “can you reach your aunt before we reach Hogwarts?”

 

 

“Of course I can”, Susan grinned, taking a mirror out of her trunk and stating, “Amelia Susan Bones, Director Department of Magical Law Enforcement.”

 

“What is going on Susan?” Amelia Bones asked through her own mirror, “you know you are only supposed to use this in case of emergency.”

 

“I think I can explain that”, Alyssa replied, “my name is Alyssa Lilith Potter ...”

 

 

As soon as Alyssa had managed to convince Amelia she was telling the truth, the witch travelled to Gringotts. “According to Miss Potter”, Amelia told the goblins, “Albus Dumbledore claims to be her magical Guardian and acting in her interests, as Director of the DMLE I hereby request to view a copy of the Potter Will.”

 

 

In the middle of the Sorting Ceremony, Amelia had requested Alyssa wear the disguise so as not to tip off Dumbledore, the doors from the Great Hall flew open as several aurors, led by Madam Bones marched in. “Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore”, Amelia Bones declared, “in name of the Ministry of Magic, you are hereby under arrest for attempted line theft, conspiracy to commit murder, theft from a Noble and Most Ancient House, Will tampering, illegal placement of a child, giving false evidence leading to the incarceration of the Heir of an Ancient and Most Noble House. Trying to force a young girl to pretend to be a boy and stay in the male dorms.”


	6. The Twins and Dobby versus the Love potions

Fred suddenly stopped and looked at his twin before holding indicating they needed to be quiet. The twins snuck further until they could hear the conversation.

 

“So all we need to do is get these potions in Harry and Hermione their drinks?” Ginny asked, “then they’ll be ours?”

 

“That’s all”, Molly confirmed.

 

“Finally”, Ron gleefully exclaimed, “the mudblood will be mine.”

 

The twins left the Burrow and headed back to their shop, no longer interested in a surprise visit.

 

 

“We need help”, George didn’t need to ask his brother whether they would help Harry and Hermione.

 

“Maybe we can contact Dobby?” Fred suggested, “he could probably closely watch Harry and Hermione their drinks.”

 

“I’ll send our owl”, George decided, “can you contact Bill and Charlie? You know what, ask Percy as well.”

 

 

“This is serious”, Fred explained once their big brothers had arrived, “we overheard a conversation between mum, Ron and Ginny.”

 

“A conversation concerning a plan to use love potion against Harry and Hermione”, George added, “we have contacted Dobby, he’s a house elf who is utterly devoted to Harry, we hope he can help covertly guard Harry and Hermione’s drinks.”

 

“Dobby can”, Dobby suddenly stated seemingly appearing out of nowhere, “Dobby got naughty twin’s letter and Dobby came here. Dobby will take care of it.” Dobby popped away.

 

 

“Bill”, Percy was the first of the brothers to react after Dobby’s sudden interruption, “I need you to take dad to Gringotts, “tell them you want him checked. Specifically for love potions. If dad is cleared, we will inform him, agreed?”

 

“Agreed”, Bill replied, while he hoped Percy was wrong, he couldn’t disregard it.

 

“I’ll contact grandfather Prewitt”, Charlie proposed, “I know he detests love potions.”

 

 

“The great and wonderful Harry Potter wants to know what happened?” Dobby addressed Harry having been watching him and hearing him wondering out loud why on Earth Ron would suddenly drag Ginny into a broom cupboard; “the naughty twins overheard the Molly and the two redheads plotting to use love potions against the Great and Powerful Harry Potter sir and the Dark Seamstress Hermione Granger.”

 

“The Dark Seamstress?” Harry asked before dismissing it, “what did you do?”

 

“Dobby switched the drinks of the Great and Magnificent Harry Potter and the Great and Terrible Dark Seamstress with the drinks of Ron and Ginny”, Dobby proudly declared.

 

Forcing himself to not ask about the whole Dark Seamstress thing, Harry decided Hermione needed to know, “can you go get Hermione, she needs to know as well.”

 

“Dobby will retrieve the Cruel and Maleficent Dark Seamstress oh Great and Powerful Wizard Harry Potter sir.” Dobby popped away.

 

 

A few days later, Lord Prewitt had declared Charlie Weasley to be the new Heir Prewitt. Upon finding proof that Arthur had been under a love potion keyed to Molly, Bill promptly declared himself regent of House Weasley and cast out Molly Weasley, Ronald Weasley and Ginevra Weasley. Charlie and his grandfather refused the three of them entry (or in Molly’s case reentry) into House Prewitt. Molly was handed over to the DMLE, while Ron and Ginny were expelled, had their wands snapped and their magic bound.

 

Voldemort? One of his Death Eaters, namely Draco Malfoy, insulted the King of the Gringotts Clan, leading to the goblins systematically hunting down the Death Eaters and Voldemort himself. Due to the goblins using modern weapons, the Death Eaters never stood a chance.


	7. The tournament goes nuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN  
> Another exageration of a recurring theme, someone decides to go back in time and replace Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire with someone else's. Make that many someone's  
> AN

Dumbledore had just named Victor Krum as Durmstrang’s champion, when the next note came as a total surprise, “for Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, Gabrielle Delacour.”

 

“What?” Fleur Delacour shouted, “my sister is nine and not even here, who threw in my sister’s name?” The Half-veela hadn’t been able to stop herself from transforming.

 

“For Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Luna Lovegood.” Whoever had thrown in the names had added a compulsion to read the notes in their entirety.

 

“For the British and Irish Quidditch League, the Holyhead Harpies.”

 

“For the inept halfbloods calling themselves Dark Lords, Tom Marvolo Riddle aka Lord Voldemort.”

 

“For the ex-boyfriends of Albus too many names Dumbledore, Gellert Grindelwald.”

 

“For the muggles, Sir Elton John.”

 

“For the House of Black, Kreacher the House elf.”

 

“For the Ministry of Magic, Cornelius Fudge!”

 

“For the Auror Academy, Nymphadora Tonks!”

 

“For Sunnydale California, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

 

“For the Prankers Association, Remus Lupin, Fred and George Weasley and Peeves.”

 

“For the Headmasters, Igor Karkarov!”

 

“For those-who-look-down-on-anyone-else-but-not-out-of-arrogance, Olympe Maxime and Rubeus Hagrid.”

 

“For the escapees from Azkaban, Bartemius Crouch jr.”

 

“For the illegal animagi pretending to be dead and wearing the Dark Mark on their arm, Peter Pettigrew.”

 

“For the idiots who think they stand a chance to survive the Tournament, Ronald Weasley.”

 

“For the walking fashion disasters, Albus Dumbledore and Rita Skeeter.”

 

 

The Goblet finally stopped pushing out papers.

 

 

Months later, during the first task, a few dozen of the dragons escaped, leading to a breach of the Statute of Secrecy, Tom Riddle lost his magic because Crouch jr. never had the courage to tell him his name had come out of the Goblet.


	8. Not in Britain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Potters and the Longbottoms simply leave Britain as they have no intention of leaving their young sons in harm's way

“I am so glad we decided to do this”, James remarked, he had initially been sceptical when his wife had suggested to simply move to the Potter Ranch in Canada. But he had eventually agreed, for safety, only Sirius, Pandora and the Longbottoms were aware of their actual location. Everyone else would think they were hiding under a Fidelius. The house in Godric’s Hollow was in reality simply emptied from anything they didn’t need, filled with explosives and a rune chain ready to blow them up should someone enter who was not keyed in (which were only Peter, Sirius, Remus, Pandora and Dumbledore, not that they even knew about the explosives).

 

The Longbottoms had decided to move to their adjacent Ranch. Pandora and her family were staying in the guest house at Longbottom Ranch, Sirius in the guest house at Potter Ranch.

 

Then suddenly a lone Canadian Auror approached Potter Ranch. When the British Wizengamot had called for the arrest of Sirius Black, they had also spread an international arrest warrant. The problem was that the Canadian Magical Government knew well enough that Sirius Black was staying with the Potters in Canada.

 

 

“Excuse me Mr. Potter, I am Paige Lester, Senior Auror”, Paige Lester, Senior Auror for the Canadian Magical Government, addressed James Potter, while showing her badge, “do you have any idea why the British are under the impression that you and your family have been killed and that Sirius Black has betrayed you?”

 

“We did lay a trap to ensure that should the Dark Tosser manage to enter our house, it would blow up”, James admitted, “given that it was under a Fidelius charm, with Peter Pettigrew as the Secret Keeper, so they should be trying to arrest him, we considered it safe enough, especially with the wards ready to contain the explosion and thereby ensure it wouldn’t touch the neighbouring houses.”

 

“Your trap did succeed in killing him”, the Auror admitted, “the British found the scourged remains of the dark wizard and his nearly burned up wand. If you will write out and sign a statement that Sirius Black did not betray you, I can ensure our government will leave him be. I suggest you and Mr. Longbottom go back to Britain to ensure that the British actually try find this Peter Pettigrew.”

 

 

 “How?” Crouch Senior was shocked to see James Potter walk into his office, “I was told you were dead.”

 

“The Goblins could have told you otherwise”, James Potter remarked, “but that’s not the most important part. First of all, as you no doubt found out, we placed explosives in our House to ensure the Dark Tosser, or whoever he would sent, would die. Secondly, we survived because we have spend the last three months out of Britain.”

 

“So have we”, Frank Longbottom added, “both our families are still out of Britain. We’re not telling anyone where, until the last Death Eaters are properly punished.”

 

“And that does not include Sirius Black”, James Potter took over, “contrary to what you seem to think, Sirius Black was never our Secret Keeper. Our Secret Keeper was Peter Pettigrew, also an illegal animagus, a common garden rat to be precise. As he broke the terms of his protection under the Ancient House of Potter, I hereby authorise the use of veritaserum on Peter Pettigrew, as my right as his liege lord.” James had placed both Peter and Remus under the aegis of the Potter family years back, allowing him to do this.

 

Crouch seemed relieved not to have to hunt down Sirius Black, the permission to use veritaserum was even better.


	9. You found him a what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or how Harry doesn't meekly go along with being made Seeker

“What is a Seeker exactly?” Harry asked interrupting Oliver Wood’s exited babbling upon McGonagall telling him she found him a Seeker.

 

“How can you not know that?” Oliver Wood asked shocked to hear such a question.

 

“I know it’s clearly someone who searches for something”, Harry replied, “and given that you pulled me out of my flying lessons for it, I presume it has something do to with flying as well. Otherwise I have no idea.”

 

 

“I know flying lessons are always Wednesday afternoon”, Oliver Wood supposed, “I usually get permission to skip my own lesson during the third flying lesson from the first years so I can observe them. Defense was my last class today, if I remember correctly flying lessons are the only lessons during Wednesday afternoons.”

 

“True”, Harry agreed.

 

“In that case, I suggest we go outside, grab a pair of brooms from the broom shed and I can explain the sport”, Oliver suggested.

 

“Sure, flying was fun”, Harry agreed.

 

 

“So you have three Chasers who try to score with the red ball”, Harry summarized.

 

“The quaffle”, Oliver Wood agreed.

 

“With the quaffle”, he continued, “and a Keeper who tries to stop them. Then you have two Beaters who try to keep the bludgers from throwing their team’s players from their brooms and who try to keep the bludgers attacking the other team. Now what does the Seeker do?”

 

“They try to catch the golden snitch, when one of the Seekers catches the snitch, the game is over and that team gets 150 points”, Oliver Wood explained.

 

“No thank you”, Harry decided, “that sounds utterly boring, I like flying, but that sounds like idly floating until you bump into a tiny golden ball. Find someone else.”

 

Oliver Wood was shocked, how could anyone refuse a place on the quidditch team?


	10. The difference time can make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padfoot and Prongs "borrowed" something from the DOM

“Lils”, James told his wife, “grab Harry and come here, we don’t have much time.”

 

James took out the artefact Padfoot and he had “borrowed” from the Department of Mysteries, throwing the chain over the three of them, before turning back the maximum of seven times.

 

 

“We just went seven hours back in time”, James explained, before once more grabbing his family and apparating to Sirius’.

 

 

“Wormtail betrayed us”, James explained once he had convinced Sirius and the visiting Remus he was who he was, “we were lucky I still had the thing Padfoot and I borrowed from the DOM. Can Lily and Harry stay here for a while? We have about seven hours to think of a trap to capture Wormtail and kill Moldyshorts. To show them both you don’t mess with the Marauders.”

 

 

Eventually it was Remus who thought of the plan, Remus had always been the brains behind the Marauders, they would use muggle knock-out gas. Using the invisibility cloak, they snuck into a military base, absconding with several canisters. Somehow, they managed to hide the canisters throughout the house without past-Lily and past-James noticing. They also hid mirrors for them to observe through and a runechain they could activate from a distance, which would open the canisters once triggered.

 

 

Voldemort and Wormtail approached the house. “Wait here Wormtail”, Voldemort ordered before entering. Sirius immediately activated transport wards as soon as Voldemort was inside (and the mirrors had shown the past-Potters had used the time-turner). James activated the runechain about the same time, releasing the odourless and colourless gas.

 

Soon enough, Voldemort was down, Remus immediately stunned Wormtail.

 

 

When they arrived at the Ministry, Crouch had for some reason been under the impression the Potters had died and had been betrayed by Sirius Black. The fact James Potter was standing in front of him and managed to answer security questions, proved this not to be true. After having been explained about what truly happened and seeing the unconscious Voldemort, Crouch happily escorted them to the Death Chamber, were Voldemort was thrown through the veil. Given that the Wizengamot had already declared whoever killed Voldemort was to get a general pardon concerning the means, Crouch was more than pleased to wave off the whole absconding with a priceless DOM artefact issue. Later on, they would discover that somehow Voldemort had managed to take the magic of his marked followers with him through the veil.

 

 

The next morning, Dumbledore had claimed the Potters to have died, after being betrayed by Sirius. He also claimed Voldemort had tried to use the killing curse against Harry, which rebounded, giving him a curse scar. Fortunately, Rita Skeeter had been buzzing around the Ministry and had witnessed Voldemort’s body being dumped through the veil. The Daily Prophet had given the true story (with proof) and had in the margin given the story Dumbledore had insister to be true.

 

After being informed of this by the Prophet’s Chief Editor, the Marauders (Wormtail was no longer considered one), gave a live interview on the WWN. “Our Secret Keeper, Peter Pettigrew, is currently in Azkaban”, James Potter told the journalists, “and our son most certainly did not get hit by a killing curse. I don’t know what Dumbledore had taken to think of such ridiculous allegations, but the killing curse kills. No one survives it.”

 

“The moment James realised that the rat had betrayed us,” Sirius Black took over, “Lily and Harry evacuated to my place, while James, Remus and I primed canisters of muggle knock-out gas. Before leaving as well.”

 

“As soon as the man calling himself Voldemort was inside”, Remus concluded, “we activated transport wards and had the canisters opened. The gas rendered Voldemort unconscious, after which we brought him to the Ministry. As Director Crouch can confirm, he was thrown into the Veil.”

 

 

“What do you think went through Chief Warlock Dumbledore’s head when he gave the Daily Prophet his story?” the reporter asked.

 

“Honestly, I’ve always thought he was rather barmy”, James replied, “but after reading that ridiculous story of his, I can say that was an understatement. He might have been a great wizard once, but now? He’s too old, I suspect he cracked under the pressure of his fulltime jobs. I believe it would be best for him to be removed from all his positions.”

 

 

Dumbledore would remain sprouting his dillusions for the rest of his life, but with no one giving him any attention, it made no difference.

 

With the most influential members of the Pureblood movement squibified and therefore unable to access their accounts (or even access magical locations, as they no longer even had the required magic to do so. Regular squibs actually had more magic than them), Fudge was never bankrolled into office. This ensured that wizarding Britain could evolve into a fairer place.

 

 

Thirty years later, Penelope Clearwater became the first muggleborn Minister for Magic.


	11. Obscurial

“Madam Bones”, Madam Hopkirk came running into Amelia Bones’ office, “my sensors have just witnessed an enormous discharge of energy in Surrey, I believe we are dealing with an Obscurial. I have no idea how we could have missed someone turning in one, but it’s the only thing that fits.”

 

“Mordred and Morgana”, Amelia Bones swore, “I’ll send my best, have your office give me all information on underage magic within Surrey.”

 

 

“Madam Hopkirk was correct”, Newt Scamander confirmed, “the energy level indicates he has been an obscurial for several months now.” Even though they were retired, Newt Scamander and his wife Popertina Scamander née Goldstein, had been called in due to them being experts on the subject.

 

“Would wizard repelling wards interfere with the underage magic sensor network?” Popertina asked, knowing it would have with its MACUSA counterpart, “I’m also reading failed attempts to create bloodwards.”

 

“Destroy all the wards”, Madam Bones ordered. In seconds, the Aurors succeeded.

 

Once inside the property, the Aurors found the remains of two adults and one very fat child. The Scamanders confirmed the three had been killed by the Obscurus. “Merlin’s balls”, Auror Proudfoot swore, having just come upon the barely living body of none other than Harry Potter, “Madam Bones, it’s Potter.”

 

 

Newt Scamander had just begun trying to save Harry Potter, when none other than Albus Dumbledore apparated in, having been warned by the sensors in his office that his wards had been destroyed. “What is going on here?” Dumbledore angrily asked, “who took down my wards?”

 

“You erected the repelling wards?” Madam Bones wanted to hear confirmed.

 

“And the bloodwards”, Dumbledore saw no harm in admitting (he had never realised the bloodwards hadn’t taken hold).

 

“Aurors”, Madam Bones ordered, “arrest mister Dumbledore as an accomplice in muggle killings.” Dumbledore was too dumbfounded to react.

 

 

While trying to remove the obscurus, Newt Scamander suddenly triggered a connection from Harry Potter to another entity. The obscures erupted from the now lifeless body of Harry Potter and split into six parts.

 

A portion went to Albania, to a house in London, a Gringotts vault, Hogwarts, Little Hangleton and Malfoy Manor. Hogwarts’ Room of Requirements managed to contain it, so did the Gringotts’ vault. But the shack in Little Hangleton was completely levelled, so was Malfoy Manor (no survivors). Aurors would later find out all this places had contained a Horcrux belonging to Voldemort. All of them had been destroyed by the Obscurus. Afraid to die, the remnant in Albania had then used his connection with his marked followers to suck the life out of them in a fruitless effort to stay alive.

 

Under Veritaserum, Dumbledore would later admit he had known Voldemort wasn’t dead and had explained about a prophecy. Disgusted, the Wizengamot sentenced Dumbledore to the veil.


	12. I call bullshit

“I call bullshit”, Elisabeth Lilith Potter bluntly stated, before grabbing the marriage contract and cleanly ripping it in two. Unsurprisingly it had no negative effect on herself whatsoever.

 

Ron Weasley saw red and started to rant, Lisa tuned it out, drew her wand and stunned the idiot. “A magical Guardian can legally only be appointed to a muggleborn. A magical Guardian also has only one power over his charges, which would be to have them taken from their legal Guardians in case of abuse. So even if Dumbledore had been my magical Guardian, that still wouldn’t have given him the right to sign a marriage contract in my name. My Account Manager has already begun retrieving the funds stolen from my vaults by House Weasley. I have also informed the DMLE about your attempted line theft. Have a good life in Azkaban.”

 

Lisa Potter walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that in many fanfics, the concept of a magical Guardian is used; in this short oneshot, it exists, but with limited powers only.
> 
> During the witchhunts, it happened that the parents of muggleborns, gave their children to the witchhunters; that's when the legal concept of a magical Guardian was created, a government appointed official with the power to take muggleborn children from their muggle family if their life was in danger from said family; that however is the only power a magical Guardian has. The concept can also only be applied to muggleborns


	13. A WBWL parody

For as long as he knew, Harry had been almost forgotten by his parents. When his brother was declared the boy-who-lived by Dumbledore, they had focussed all their attention to William. It even went as far as them rejoicing over William supposedly having done accidental magic, even though it had always been him.

 

When he was six, Lily and James (Harry would never call them mother and father) called him a squib and dumped him with Lily’s sister Petunia’s family. Ordinarily, it could have been bad for Harry, but Petunia had been all but ignored by Lily as soon as it was clear she had magic and Petunia didn’t. Even though Petunia immediately noticed Harry had magic, he was treated as a second son and a brother to Dudley.

 

 

Using the trust vault his grandfather had created for him, Harry had already bought all his stuff (for obvious reasons, he had disguised himself so as not to be confused with the “boy-who-lived”). He was just walking away from Ollivander’s with his new Holly and phoenix feather wand, when he noticed William and his parents (never Harry’s) entering the shop, accompanied by several reporters (these had been accompanying them ever since Dumbledore had personally delivered William’s Hogwarts letter, bypassing the book of names).

 

 

The next morning the Dursley household saw the front page of the Daily Prophet:

_The stories are false. Boy-who-lived is squib_

 

Worse for the Potters was the fact that one of the reporters, one Rita Skeeter, had been secretly following Harry that day, having seen accidentally noticed him without his disguise. Now the entirety of Britain knew how they had ignored one of their sons, attributed his accidental magic to his squib brother, and then throwing him out declaring the wizard among the two to be a squib.

 

Fleamont Potter had also agreed to an interview, the old Potter patriarch had explained how he had been refused access to his grandsons by Lily and James due to him being angry about them ignoring one of their own children. Fleamont had explained that his revised Will now passed James and made Harry his heir. He also revoked access to the Pottery (the Potter ancestral home) for Lily and James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In most of those WBWL stories, Lily is an utter **** towards one of her sons; I had her react similar to Petunia as soon as she knew she was a witch and Petunia wasn't, therefore Petunia actually sympathised with this Harry
> 
> Also, it is often that Dumbledore (wrongly) declares Harry to be a squib; I thought, why not have one of the twins really be a squib, just not the one everyone thinks (why they entered Ollivander, he's the one who truthfully called William Potter a squib, due to him not reacting even the slightest to ANY wand)
> 
> the name William was obviously referring to the British Queen's grandchildren William and Harry; for those who don't know, Fleamont Potter is James Potter's canon father, who in this fic still lives
> 
> I'm writing a second WBWL parody right now with a completely different setting


	14. Another WBWL parody

Lily Potter had just returned from her friend Pandora, the pregnant witch hadn’t trusted any other healer than Lily to look after her. That’s when she saw the door of her house bashed in.

 

Lily Potter had just entered her house when she saw the dead body of her husband lying there. Scared out of her wits, she ran upstairs to the twins’ room. With relief, she saw that both were alive and, apart from twin scars, seemingly unharmed. Lily checked around for any traces of whoever attacked her family, when she saw a dead Voldemort lying about. His wand next to him. Lily pocketed the wand, before turning to her boys once more.

 

 

Lily had just begun her medical check-up on the two boys when the wards informed her someone had arrived. The someone soon turned out to be Dumbledore, Lily had seen disappointment on his face for a second when he saw her still alive.

 

Ignoring the fact that only one of the two was a trained healer, and it was not Dumbledore, Dumbledore immediately cast a quick charm before speaking. “It is clear that William has somehow managed to defeat Voldemort”, Dumbledore declared, “I will of course explain to the public how William Potter is the boy-who-lived. He will need to be thought magic as soon as possible. So as not to distract him, I will send Hagrid later on, to bring the other boy to your sister as he is clearly a squib.”

 

Lily stopped listening, she knew perfectly well that both her sons had magic, she was a Healer for Christ’s sake. While Dumbledore was still speaking, Lily had taken Voldemort’s wand, “Avada Kedavra!”

 

 

The next morning the Daily Prophet got the news from Lily Potter. Dumbledore, who had been visiting his sister’s grave as he often did, had seen Voldemort breaking into the Potter’s house. He had tried to defend James and the kids, but was unable to defend Lily’s husband in time. Dumbledore had managed to cast some obscure magic to destroy Voldemort, but not before the latter had managed to fire a killing curse at the old wizard.

 

Only Pandora and Lily would ever know the truth. In the aftermath, Lily and the twins had temporarily moved to the Longbottom safehouse. Therefore they had been there when Bellatrix Lestrange, her husband, brother-in-law and Crouch jr. attacked. The two adult Longbottoms and Lily managed to defeat the three Lestranges, Crouch fled.

 

 

Dumbledore never had the time to convince the Wizengamot to not ignore the ridiculous Imperius pleas, leading to all of the Imperius pleaders to be asked to take veritaserum. Only two of them actually took the Wizengamot up on that offer, proving these two had actually been under the Imperius. The rest were thrown into Azkaban for life.

 

Crouch jr. was found out thanks to Karkaroff, the DMLE director’s son, who had been in the audience, had immediately reacted by casting the killing curse at Karkaroff. Seconds later, Alastor Moody had retaliated with a cutter. Two more Death Eaters were dead.

 

No one really knew why Dumbledore had defended Snape, leading to him being put under veritaserum, the result was that an enraged Wizengamot sentenced Snape to the dementor’s kiss.

 

 

Voldemort spend the rest of his life as a wraith, never knowing until the end, that horcruxes didn’t make one immortal. Those using them would still die from old age, sooner than those who didn’t make them at that. Due to him having made so many of them, Voldemort died a mere twenty years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that many fics have Horcruxes being encountered in Egypt quite often, this doesn't happen in this version, due to them not actually making someone immortal. It merely prevents all other deaths than from old age.
> 
> Why the aurors believe her story, the killing curse was cast with Voldemort's wand, which priori incantatem proved.
> 
> Who is the real boy-who-lived? Both of them, they survived due to synchronized accidental magic, combined with the protective runework Lily had placed around their cribs. The thing is, no one ever received the news.
> 
> Lily had used surgery to cut out the curse scars before properly healing them (never realising that when she destroyed the scar remains to get rid of the dark magic, she had destroyed two accidental horcruxes).
> 
> Without Snape and Dumbledore, the Hogwarts staff was much more stringent against bullying. Draco Malfoy and Ronald Weasley were expelled and had their wands snapped somewhere during their fourth year after having failed to learn from their numerous warnings and detentions.
> 
> And yes, I kept the same names for the twins, if I ever decide to write more Potter twins stories with two boys, I will keep on using those two names. If I use female Potters, I will probably use either flower names or royal names like Elisabeth and Mary


	15. Sirius Black, cursebreaker

All thoughts of grief for Lily and James and anger against Wormtail disappeared when Sirius Black saw Harry’s scar. As a trained cursebreaker, he immediately recognized traces of dark magic. Not even thinking about it, Sirius immediately apparated to the employee entrance of Gringotts.

 

“There is some dark residue on my godson’s forehead”, Sirius Black immediately addressed his supervisor who had come to see why he had apparated in during his leave, with a toddler in his arms.

 

The Goblin did his own check and then loudly swore in Gobbledegook, “follow me Cursebreaker Black.”

 

 

After having been informed he couldn’t stay with his godson in order for him not to hinder the department healers, Sirius Black went to the Potter account manager instead, to make arrangement on the reading of the Potter Wills. If he remembered correctly, it also contained the truth about the secret keeper. After the Manager had agreed Sirius was Harry’s legal guardian, he did as asked and had a copy of the Wills send to the DMLE.

 

 

Sirius wasn’t aware about it, but Director Crouch had just read the copy of the Wills when he had entered the Wizengamot. Due to the identity of the actual secret keeper being stated in the Wills, which had been witnessed by Dumbledore himself, Crouch managed to convince most of the Wizengamot (except the Dumbledore hardliners like Doge), to vote against sealing the Wills and to instigate a vote of no-confidence against the Chief Warlock, a successful one.

 

 

Hours later, the Wizengamot session had just ended, Sirius was informed that the healers had successfully removed a soul fragment from Harry’s forehead. The fragment had then been handed over to the Cursebreaker department, who used it to track down the other pieces and destroy them.

 

 

Dumbledore being deposed, stopped him from convincing the Wizengamot to accept the Imperius pleas. Crouch argued that if they had truly been under the Imperius, there would be no reason to deny Veritaserum being administered, no marked Death Eater took him up on that offer.


	16. Snapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Character Death

Ten year old Harry Potter was sick of it, for as long as he remembered, the Dursleys (no way in hell he would ever consider them family or their house home) had called him a freak, beat him, had him do all the work in the house. Now that foul hellbeast Marge Dursley called a dog had also bitten him and Vernon actually beat him for harming the dog. Before he could change his mind, Harry snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a sharp kitchen knife.

 

Knowing that Ripper was at least locked away during the night, Harry decided to leave it for last, softly he opened the door to Vernon and Petunia’s room. Harry took the knife high and stabbed Vernon Dursley, pulled it up once more and stabbed. He stabbed at least ten times. Of course by then, Petunia had woken up, Harry somehow flung her into a wall, preventing her from fleeing. He then began stabbing her as well.

 

Marge Dursley was a heavy sleeper, so Harry was reasonably certain she was still asleep. She received at least 40 stabs (she died somewhere halfway through, not that it stopped Harry).

 

Dudley tried to hit Harry once, but somehow his fist bounced off, Harry’s knife didn’t.

 

Lastly, Harry somehow managed to draw his cousin to the door of the room with Ripper in, Ripper happily did what Marge had trained him for and bit hard in the bleeding Dudley’s leg.

 

 

Covered in blood and still carrying the knife, Harry walked into Little Whinging’s police station. “You investigate dead people do you?” Harry asked, “there are three, maybe four by now, lying dead at number 4, Private Drive. The blood is not mine.”


	17. I don't think we can trust him

“James”, Lily bluntly stated, planting an opened book before James on the table, “I know you want to trust your friends, so do I. But this is our son’s life we are talking about. I read up on the Fidelius charm, and contrary to what the Headmaster told us, it is possible to be your own secret keeper. Something I know he is aware off. So ask yourself this, why does he want someone else to be the secret keeper?” Lily had already told the same to the Longbottoms, Augusta Longbottom had cast the Fidelius around their manor, with Alice as the secret keeper.

 

“But it’s Dumbledore”, James began to object, before Lily stopped him and pointed at the book. James eventually did read the book.

 

 

“Fidelius”, James stated with only Lily present, “the Potter family lives Number 6 Church street, Godric’s Hollow.” The words that sealed the secret of the location within Lily’s soul.

 

 

“Change into your animagus forms please”, Lily instructed Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, knowing full well that the two were animagi. After the two Marauders had done so and changed back, Lily relaxed somewhat (not entirely though), “now bare your arms. If I am satisfied you are not bearing the Dark Mark, I will give you the secret.”

 

Peter vehemently objected, Sirius on the other hand promptly did as asked. Lily stopped listening to the objections and stunned Pettigrew, before looking for herself. To James and Sirius’ shock, Peter Pettigrew turned out to have the Dark Mark. Lily on the other hand wasn’t that surprised.

 

“There is no way Dumbledore didn’t know about this”, Lily stated, “I think he wants the dark bastard to attack us and the Longbottoms. He wanted us to use Pettigrew as a secret keeper. He also knew that it is possible to be your own secret keeper.”

 

 

Lily force fed Pettigrew with veritaserum before thoroughly interrogating him. “Who knows you are a Death Eater?” she asked at the end, “give a full list.”

 

“Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, Lily Potter, James Potter, Sirius Black”, Pettigrew replied in a monotone.

 

“Can you think of any other question?” Lily asked, after both Sirius and James replied they didn’t think they could get more information out of Pettigrew, Lily drew her wand placed it against his temple and put as much power as she could muster in her following spell, “obliviate!" Immediately after, she used legilimency to check. “He’s back to before he started at Hogwarts”, Lily stated.

 

 

Pettigrew was later anonymously left in the Ministry Atrium, with his Dark Mark clearly visible. Then Lily took Sirius apart and told him the secret.

 

The results of the interrogation were quickly spread across the Order members who didn’t worship Dumbledore (like the Prewitt twins). About half the Order, and that included Alastor Moody, stopped obeying Dumbledore’s stunners only policy. In a few weeks, the majority of the Death Eaters had died. None of them having expected lethal spells being used against them. Wanting the people to fear him again, Voldemort did a last ditch assault on Hogsmeade with his remaining forces. The people of Hogsmeade fought back. Filius Flitwick proved why he was a duelling champion, defeating Voldemort himself in single combat.


	18. That's not Alderaan (random thought that popped into my mind, Star Wars X-over)

“Sir”, one of the technicians hesitantly interrupted Grand Moff Tarkin, “that’s not Alderaan. Somehow we’ve been moved deep into the unknown regions.”

 

Tarkin swore, before deciding, “blast it, I don’t care, blow up the damn planet.”

 

 

Voldemort was in the middle of his speech against the defenders of Hogwarts when the Death Star’s main weapon fired.


	19. Who the hell is Ronald weasley?

Harry came to the town square of the merpeople village and saw four students tied to four poles. A little girl who looked like Fleur Delacour, the Durmstrang girl that had danced with Krum, Cho Chang (obviously Cedric’s hostage) and some redheaded guy he vaguely remembered as always trying to sit with him (Harry had decided to utterly ignore him on the Hogwarts Express before his first year after having heard the lie about everywhere else being full). Not seeing anyone he would sorely miss at all, Harry decided someone had probably decided to prank whoever the redhead was, and returned to the lakeshore.

 

 

Harry ignored the judges and immediately approached the Weasley twins, “did you by any chance prank someone by placing him on the bottom of the lake?”

 

“Uh no”, Fred or George replied, “why?”

 

“There was a little girl resembling Delacour down there”, Harry explained, “Krum’s dance partner during the ball, Chang, and some redhead, no idea who he is.”

 

 

By this time, Dumbledore had already been approached by the merpeople chieftain, he quickly approached Harry, “why did you leave your hostage behind?”

 

“I couldn’t find anyone I would miss”, Harry replied.

 

“But mister Weasley”, Dumbledore began.

 

“They are both standing right here”, Harry was confused.

 

“I mean Ronald Weasley”, Dumbledore exclaimed loudly (ensuring that everyone, including Rita Skeeter) could hear it.

 

“Who the hell is Ronald Weasley?” Harry asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU Krum doesn't go with Hermione (even if only because in that case Harry would have brought Hermione to the surface and that has been done a lot)
> 
> And yes, Harry had consistently ignored Ron Weasley to the point he has no idea he's the twins' brother, what his name is etc. To be honest, I just wanted a fic in which Harry earnestly declares, "who the hell is Ronald Weasley?"


	20. Wait a second, there is another artefact of Gryffindor

“Professor, I know another artefact from Gryffindor”, Harry realised, he quickly drew his wand and aimed at the artefact in question, “Incendio!”  
  
Unfortunately, the Sorting Hat proved not to be a Horcrux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this one is really short


	21. All because of a speeding lorry

While he and Dudley had never really gotten on (for one, Dudley’s parents made sure Dudley was rewarded for making Harry’s life miserable), it still didn’t stop Harry from running on the street towards his cousin upon seeing the lorry approaching him at high speed.

 

Harry had no idea how, but one moment he and Dudley had been in front of the lorry, the next one they felt like being squeezed through a pipe before appearing on the sidewalk.

 

 

When the cousins arrived back at Private Drive number 4, Vernon Dursley immediately started blaming Harry for Dudley looking shocked. This time however, Dudley didn’t remain silent, “I would be dead if not for Harry. Dad, he saved my life.” Dudley explained how he had been crossing the street and how he hadn’t seen the lorry. Then Harry added how he saw the lorry, yelled at Dudley to get off the street and ran towards him. When they were both in front of the lorry, Harry had just wanted not to be there, and then the both of them were somehow transported to the sidewalk.

 

 

The incident became a wakeup call for the Dursleys, from that moment on, Harry was truly treated as part of the family. All because of a speeding lorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested, it might be possible to get a full fic from this. Obviously one in which Harry is told he's a wizard by the Dursleys (probably shortly after the incident). With a Harry who does have friends before Hogwarts, he wouldn't be as likely to stick with Ron (whose in my opinion equally bigoted as Draco Malfoy)
> 
> Should anyone decide to try this, please send me a message so I can read your fic


	22. First potions lesson

Severus Snape was laughing inside his mind upon seeing his godson looking at Potter’s cauldron while having the bicorn horn lying nearby. Snape had seen how the Potter spawn had to his chagrin made no mistakes yet, but if Draco would throw the horn at just the right moment ...

 

Distracted by his waiting around for the opportune moment, Draco never noticed Crabbe making several mistakes (not that it mattered, his godfather would give him an outstanding anyhow). He also failed to take into account the fact that the horn was lying on their table, within Crabbe’s grasp.

 

 

The explosion killed Draco and Crabbe, seriously injuring Nott and Goyle, Parkinson and Greengrass. An enraged Lucius Malfoy used his position on the Board of Governors to ensure the Aurors would investigate, leading to Snape eventually being forced to testify under veritaserum about his plan to have Draco Malfoy throw the bicorn horn into Harry Potter’s cauldron. Snape got the Dementor’s Kiss the very same day.


	23. Prophecy? Let's get a second opinion

James was panicking, he had just been informed about a prophecy which could concern their unborn child or that of Mark and Lisa Bones or Frank and Alice Longbottom, or probably quite a lot of unborn children (Lily had no idea why Dumbledore seemed convinced it could only mean them).

 

Lily decided she needed to check it out for herself, putting on her work cloak and badge, she apparated straight into the DOM. After informing her direct supervisor, the two of them went to the Keeper of Prophecy Hall. Lily explained her reason for coming to the Keeper. “This morning, Albus Dumbledore came to my house to inform me about a prophecy he claims to have heard that could be about my unborn child”, Lily told him, “I request permission to listen to this prophecy.”

 

The Keeper went to his scrolls (enchanted in a way that ensured only the Keeper could read it), “there is no prophecy witnessed by Albus Dumbledore.” The Keeper looked once again, before adding, “someone did place a fake orb about a so-called prophecy in my Hall. Follow me.”

 

The three Unspeakables went to the fake prophecy orb, which the Keeper picked up. “This doesn’t belong here”, the Keeper decided, “take it.” He handed the Orb to Lily.

 

 

Severus Snape was surprised, why would Lily suddenly send him a letter, and why would the owl include a glass orb of all things. Then he read the letter. The second he had finished, he grabbed both letter and orb and apparated to his Master.

 

“Milord, I’ve been sent this letter and this orb”, Snape explained his sudden arrival, “I humbly suggest you read the letter.”

 

After Voldemort had finished reading, he immediately summoned Rookwood, “confirm the contents of this letter and investigate this orb.”

 

 

Rookwood explained he needed to do a little test, “I will activate the orb, then Snape here will confirm or deny it contains the possibly fake prophecy he half overheard.”

 

 

The Bones, Potter and Longbottom families eventually left the Order and joined up with Voldemort, sure he was a killer, but at least he was honest about that. Dumbledore on the other hand ...


	24. Highlander X-over

“With all due respect”, Vernon Dursley didn’t actually respect the half-giant, but even he knew better than to bluster against someone who could probably flatten him by accident, “if your Headmaster actually read the letters we sent him, he would have known this decades ago. From the moment he arrived with us, till we found someone who could take care of him, he still looked exactly the same, he never grew, he never got hurt, he remained the same! We informed your headmaster about this, all he did, was sending back letters we were to keep him here, or else ...”

 

 

On another continent, MacLeod was still thinking on a way to make Harry Potter self-sufficient, a hard thing to do when you knew the formerly pre-immortal boy became immortal after a violent death at the age of 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a random thought I had, what if Harry was pre-immortal and survived the killing curse because of this


	25. the Dark Lord made Horcruxes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bellatrix is OOC, in this version, she had been relatively sane before her stint in Azkaban
> 
> in this version, Horcruxes are considered abominations by just about anyone who is wizard-raised

Lucius Malfoy was not happy to see his sister-in-law (the less scary one, not that it meant much, given that Bellatrix was scary as hell, even with being less scary than her disinherited sister Andromeda). He preferred to have her as far away from himself as reasonably possible. And why was Regulus Black with her?

 

Without asking permission (which was rather rude of her, not that Bellatrix had ever truly cared about propriety), Bellatrix Lestrange began rapidly casting privacy wards, before ordering Regulus, “cousin, tell him.”

 

“The Dark Lord made Horcruxes, at least two, possibly more”, Regulus explained, “I found out after he borrowed my house elf. If I hadn’t ordered Kreacher to come back immediately after whatever he was needed for was over, he would have died without being able to inform me. He used Kreacher to hide such an abomination. I informed Bellatrix immediately after, leading to her visiting her Gringotts vault and retrieving the object she had been told to hide there. This too turned out to be a Horcrux, then the two of us retrieved the Horcrux Kreacher had helped hiding.”

 

Lucius Malfoy swore loudly (in French), before entering his hidden vault and retrieving a small book, he began casting on it, seconds after, he destroyed it.

 

 

With Voldemort trusting Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange to detest each other and therefore be unlikely to team up against him, it wasn’t even difficult for the two to stun Voldemort and apparate him to the secret dungeons under Black Manor. Veritaserum was then used to find out whether he made any other abominations (and to discover to their anger that he had been an abomination borne out of a love potion induced affair, and a halfblood as well). A few days later, the last Horcruxes were destroyed and Voldemort himself was killed.

 

 

Dumbledore was enraged, he had just managed to feed part of the prophecy he had faked to Severus Snape, when the Ministry made a declaration about Bellatrix Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy and Regulus Black having been undercover operatives (the Minister had been willing to testify on that, happy the abomination was dealt with), who had discovered the halfblood Tom Marvolo Riddle, pretending to be the pureblood heir of Slytherin, had created class X Dark Arts abominations, mutilating his own soul. Instead of going to Voldemort (who was after all dead), Severus Snape had decided to do the smart thing and had approached the Unspeakables, who had confirmed the prophecy was fake.

 

In the aftermath, Dumbledore lost all his positions. Lucius Malfoy became the Supreme Mugwump of the ICW, Bellatrix Lestrange of all people became Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and Regulus Black was appointed professor Defence against the Dark Arts by the new Headmaster (as it turned out, the curse against the Dark Arts position had been anchored to Dumbledore being employed at Hogwarts, something Dumbledore had known, but hadn’t cared about).

 

The fake prophecy had also lost Dumbledore the support of the Potters and Longbottoms, who had understood Dumbledore had tried to put a target on their young children.

 

 

Without Voldemort being around, the Death Eaters went back (after getting rid of the more unstable ones among them, like Bellatrix’ husband and brother-in-law, Dolohov and Greyback) to their original plan, safeguarding their culture. Instead of killing them, muggleborns were now taught about the culture of the wizarding world. Something that vastly reduced the problems between muggleborns and wizard-raised wizards and witches.

 

The law ensuring muggleborns being abused by their parents because of their magic were taken from them and adopted into wizarding families was initially frowned upon by the ICW, but nearly a century later, the entire wizarding world had adopted the practice when it had been shown that magical Britain hadn’t had an obscurial since the law had been created.

 

Albus Dumbledore would eventually die alone, with even his brother Aberforth refusing to claim his body. St. Mungo’s would eventually cremate the body and vanish the ashes.


	26. Have mercy director Crouch

Director Crouch was still processing what exactly had happened. After Dumbledore had convinced Minister Milicent “Pardons for Galleons” Bagnold to let Snape of without any punishment whatsoever, for supposedly having spied (even though Crouch couldn’t remember any useful information coming from that side), Crouch had thought he would never get the chance to have Snape talk.

 

“You are aware that legally, you could walk out of here with no repercussions?” Crouch asked, wanting to make certain that the Wizengamot couldn’t dismiss the testimony on those grounds.

 

“Dumbledore wanted me to teach children, I hate children”, Snape stated, still having the shivers from his first lesson with first year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, “I volunteer for veritaserum, ask what you want, all I ask is that you stop Dumbledore from forcing me to return to Hogwarts.”

 

 

While Crouch had eventually been forced to imprison his own son, he had at least had the pleasure to lock away the ones who previously got off due to the Imperius pleas.

 

Dumbledore had no idea why Snape would prefer Azkaban over Hogwarts, but at least his testimony had gotten rid of the worst stains in magical Britain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Dumbledore is not a bad Dumbledore, just one who doesn't understand that anyone wouldn't want to teach (and who, like everyone else, doesn't understand why Snape would prefer dementors over school children)


	27. Dementors on the Express

Dumbledore really wished he had been wrong when he told Minister Fudge that the dementors would not be able to resist attacking students. Unfortunately he wasn’t. He really wanted to know who was as foolish to order the Hogwarts Express to stop and allow dementors to search it. The first stop the dementors had made, turned out to be the compartment used by Draco Malfoy and most of the third year Slytherins. Third year Slytherins that had now been reduced to soulless husks. From the third year Slytherins, only the girls, who had left to the bathroom to get changed. And Blaise Zabini, who had been talking with his two year younger sister in another compartment, only they escaped.

 

Luckily for the rest of the students, Susan Bones in the next compartment, had seen professor Lupin entering the train and had run for him. Lupin had then managed to drive off the dementors from the train.

 

 

When it was found out by the Aurors that the order to search the Hogwarts Express had been given by Senior Undersecretary Dolores Umbridge, Fudge had initially wanted to pardon her. An enraged Lucius Malfoy, had promptly joined forces with Dumbledore (surprising both Dumbledore and himself) to sack Fudge. A nearly unanimous Wizengamot voted to give Umbridge the Dementor’s kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could have happened quite easily (and it really wouldn't surprise me for Umbridge to have been behind the stupidity of having dementors search the Express)


	28. Elisabeth Potter, the Vampire Slayer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time, the fem!potter was for the obvious reason that only girls can become the Slayer; it starts during the summer before the fifth year. The adult Dursleys are as despicable as in canon, but Dudley helps his cousin in secret (and is smarter than canon!Dudley)
> 
> Dumbledore makes mistakes in this, but at least he can accept he's wrong when seeing the evidence
> 
> I suppose I should give a warning about Mundungus Fletcher using foul words, but as it is Fletcher ...

Strangely enough, Lisa didn’t feel the cold she usually felt near dementors, all she felt was a determination that the foul things had to go.

 

Dudley was shocked when his cousin suddenly leapt over him, how the hell did she even do that? And that she was clearly fighting something invisible. The cold actually disappeared somewhat, now that the invisible things were under attack by his cousin.

 

Lisa had killed one of the two, she now jumped at the other and started to choke it. “Go back to whoever send you”, Lisa hissed, “kiss them. Refuse to do this and I will hunt down every single one of you abominations. Now go!” The second dementor fled in fear. A fear that immediately spread to the other dementors of the swarm, wizards might not know it, but dementors were linked to one another. The dementors would never again dare to leave Azkaban as long as the slayer-witch lived.

 

 

“What were those things?” Dudley hesitantly asked, “and how did you do what you just did?”

 

“Dementors”, Lisa replied, “they are foul abominations that suck out your happy memories. They can also suck out your very soul. I don’t know who sent them, but they will pay!” Dudley was lucky that contrary to his parents, he had never harmed Lisa. He had even helped his cousin from time to time. “I don’t know how I did it, I simply reacted on instinct.”

 

 

A bang resounded through the street, immediately followed by the appearance of a foul smelling wizard (his clothes clearly gave him away, if his first words didn’t), “Morgana’s shaggy tits, that’s a bloody dementor that is.”

 

“Your knife”, Lisa told Dudley as she held out her hand, when Dudley had given his pocket knife to her, Lisa ran to the wizard and held the knife to his throat. “Who the hell are you and why were there dementors here?”

 

Mrs. Figg ran out at that moment, “he’s not your enemy, an idiot for sure, but he’s no Death Eater.” She saw the dead dementor, “you killed a dementor.” It was no question.

 

“I didn’t see the dementor thing”, Dudley was the one to react, “but I saw Lisa jumping at one and continuously hitting it, while choking it. At least I think so, it’s difficult to know when you can only see Lisa and not the dementor.”

 

“Wait just a second here”, Lisa spoke again, “you’re a witch?”

 

“I’m a squib actually”, Mrs. Figg replied, before clarifying for Dudley, “my parents were a wizard and a witch, but I can’t do magic myself, which was why they cast me out of the family. I suppose I’m lucky, some families still kill their squibs. I can see dementors and muggle repellent wards don’t affect me, but that’s all. Dumbledore asked me to live here and keep an eye on you. And Dung, you worthless imbecile, go and tell Dumbledore that dementors have just attacked here. Go!”

 

The wizard disapparated with another bang.

 

 

“Now I can explain what happened to you, without that idiot overhearing”, Mrs. Figg explained, before asking the two cousins to follow her to her house.

 

“The world is older than you think”, Mrs. Figg began to explain.

 

 

“There is a Council who try and help the slayer. Because we can see what no-may can’t, they search out squibs and help them get a proper life. Many of us later join the Council. I am one of them, when Dumbledore asked me to keep an eye on you, I already knew you were a potential. I contacted my superiors and they told me to accept Dumbledore’s request. For the time being, I will be your watcher, it means I will help keep you alive. One at Hogwarts, Madam Pince will take over. She’s one of our foremost researchers and one of the few actual witches in the Council.”

 

“The slayer was mentioned in our History of Magic books”, Lisa remarked, “the book made it seem as if the slayer would hunt down wizards and witches.”

 

“Only those who prey on others”, Mrs. Figg replied, “which unfortunately means most of the purebloods, who control the Wizengamot.”

 

 

A few days later, Dumbledore’s latest teacher for Defense against the Dark Arts was kissed by a dementor. This convinced the DMLE to properly investigate the claims that Voldemort was back. After all, who else could convince the dementors to do this? The Minister, having seen it all happen in front of him, was too scared to object.

 

The dementors themselves had decided it would be safest for them to stay on Lisa Potter’s good side, which was why they systematically kissed all the Death Eaters locked away in Azkaban.

 

 

Dumbledore was sufficiently distracted for Moody to take over and finally get Lisa away from Privet Drive. He decided to use the safest method possibly by asking Dobby to transport Lisa and her belongings to Headquarters.

 

“The great and powerful Elizabeth Potter is greatser than Dobby already thought”, Dobby exclaimed, “Elizabeth Potter is bad things slayer.” Dobby remembered why he was there, “Moving Eye Moody asked Dobby to take Great Elizabeth Potter to the Dogman’s house.” Dobby flicked his fingers and a piece of parchment appeared. _The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is located at Number 12, Grimmauld Place, London._ After Lisa had read it, Dobby vanished the parchment again.

 

 

Lisa went to Dudley’s room to tell her cousin she had to leave, after which she gathered all her stuff. Dobby flicked his fingers and moved it all to Grimmauld Place 12. He then flicked his fingers again and transported himself and Lisa as well.

 

 

A FEW DAYS LATER

 

 

“Kreacher has been hiding stuff to prevent us from throwing it away”, Ron explained. Most of the things felt relatively harmless to Lisa, but then they found a locket.

 

Without even asking, Lisa grabbed the locket and marched towards the meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. Ignoring the locked door, Lisa slammed it open by breaking off the hinges. She immediately stepped towards Bill Weasley, ignoring the objections. “You are a cursebreaker”, she said, “I found something which I am pretty sure falls under the category curses, could you come and take a look at it?”

 

 

Bill Weasley came to the room used by Lisa (Regulus’ old room, for some reason, Kreacher had decided to put her stuff in there), always wanting to put his nose where it didn’t belong, Albus Dumbledore had followed him. At least Sirius had the excuse it was his house. “Merlin, where did you find this?” Bill Weasley was shocked upon recognizing a horcrux.

 

“Maybe I should deal with this”, Dumbledore tried, before being interrupted.

 

“This is a curse object of the vilest sort, it’s my job to destroy items like these”, Bill Weasley bluntly stated, Bill saw Dumbledore’s expression, “you knew he had one of those didn’t you. Merlin, are you utterly insane! By your looks, I can tell that you knew this and I presume other items are the reason Voldemort is still alive. If you had informed me, or any other cursebreaker at Gringotts, and we have sworn oaths to destroy items like these, then Voldemort never would have been able to return in the first place.”

 

“What is it?” Lisa asked, “it felt evil, but what is it.”

 

“This is a Horcrux”, Bill replied, “one of the vilest sorts of magic, Bill ignored Dumbledore trying to silence him. “A dark wizard can split his soul by an act of murder and then hide a part of it in an object. Those objects will bind him to life. Luckily for us, those things are inherently flawed and easily dealt with if you know they are there.”

 

“The diary”, Lisa realised, “Dumbledore must have known about them, since one of them possessed Ginny during my second year to open the Chamber of Secrets.”

 

“And no one considered it a good idea to inform me about that?” Bill Weasley was angry, “I’m a cursebreaker damn it, I work with these things for a living. For your information, it will take me all but five minutes to remove the Horcrux from the item and destroy it, mere seconds if no one has a problem with me destroying the item itself.”

 

“You can remove the Horcrux?” Dumbledore seemed elated to hear this for some reason.

 

“Of course I can, dark wizards have a tendency to turn priceless artefacts in those abominations”, Bill Weasley bluntly stated, “they are really not as powerful as those dark wizards think. Especially since this one apparently was stupid enough to create more than one. Do you have the remains of the one that has been destroyed? With that and this one, I can triangulate the position of the remaining ones.”

 

“I have it at Hogwarts”, Dumbledore replied, “could you remove one from a living person?”

 

“It happens from time to time in Egypt”, Bill shrugged, “it would be even easier, Horcruxes don’t even work all that well in a living container in the first place. Coaxing them to move to anything else is rather easy.”

 

Dumbledore seemed to be fully relieved, “I believe that Lisa’s scar contains a Horcrux.”

 

Bill Weasley began casting a few detection spells in ancient Egyptian, “there is only one soul in your body miss Potter.” After some more detection spells, “I can tell that a soul fragment has attempted to bind itself to you over ten years ago, but it failed to breach the protection. The soul fragment in question was destroyed by the protection. The only external magic I can sense would be a sacrificial ritual, that would be the protection I mentioned. And Chief Warlock Dumbledore, you weakened that protection by trying to turn it into wards. Something any decent warder or cursebreaker could have told you doesn’t work.” Bill really didn’t like it when amateurs decided to play around with wards, as they inevitably made mistakes. “I will go and dismantle those wards tonight, that should restore the protection to its full power. Lisa, I’ll leave the other wards, unless they compromise your safety.”

 

“If you do, can you replace them with wards that don’t harm me?” Lisa asked, “I don’t care about my aunt or uncle, but I don’t want Dudley losing protection.”

 

“I’ll do that”, Bill Weasley agreed.

 

Even Dumbledore could admit when he had been wrong, so he didn’t object.

 

 

THE END OF THE YEAR, LISA HAD A SLAYER VISION ABOUT THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES

 

 

Lisa snuck around under her invisibility cloak, easily finding the Death Eaters hiding around (the dark mark kind of screamed at her slayer senses). With a grin, she called on the Sword of Gryffindor.

 

One sweep later, Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy were missing a head. Lisa didn’t stop and before the Death Eaters knew what was going on, all of them had fallen. Lisa took a closer look at the row of orbs and found one with her name on it. She picked it up and started listening, only to put it back as soon as she noticed it was made by Trelawney. “As if anything said by that fraud could be important”, she idly stated to no one in particular (due to no one actually being there for one).

 

 

“Kreacher”, Lisa ordered the house elf, after the whole issue with Regulus’ locket, the house elf had become quite friendly to Lisa (prompting Sirius to give the house elf to Lisa), Lisa continued after Kreacher popped in, “go to Madam Bones, tell her that the Slayer has just taken care of several death eaters, including several escapees, and that she can find their bodies in the Prophecy Hall. Also tell her you are not allowed to tell her the identity of your Master and the Slayer. You are also not allowed to give her your name. Actually, don’t be seen, just tell her all this while invisible.”

 

 

After Kreacher had left, Lisa went back to the Atrium of the Ministry, she never reached it due to an enraged Voldemort having come running upon feeling his Death Eaters dying through their marks. Without further prompting, she cut of his head, knowing that Bill Weasley and several of his colleagues had taken care of all the Horcruxes by now. The Snake was a bit of luck, Moody had finally managed to convince Dumbledore to always have two Order members guarding the Prophecy Hall, not that Lisa knew this. Bill Weasley had killed the snake before it managed to bite his father. He had immediately recognized the snake had been a horcrux, due to the piece of soul coming out and disappearing into nothingness.

 

“Kreacher”, Lisa called the elf again, “drop off the head on Madam Bones’ desk please. Vanish the rest of the body. Don’t be seen. Afterwards, get me back to Hogwarts.”

 

 

The next morning the Daily Prophet explained how the DMLE had received an anonymous tip that the Slayer had killed several Death Eaters who had broken into the Ministry. The article gave the names of all those killed while wearing Death Eater masks and robes. It also told of how the severed head of a wizard identified as Voldemort had been left on the desk of Director Bones. Upon reading it, Lisa was pleased to see the look on the face of a disbelieving Draco Malfoy.

 

 

In the meantime, Saul Croaker was visiting the Watchers Council’s London Headquarter. “Your slayer has just taken out nearly all Death Eaters at large and the dark wizard who called himself Voldemort”, Saul Croaker explained his reason for coming there, “I already removed her from the security recordings and have sworn the Unspeakable who had seen them to silence on her identity. She hid under an Invisibility Cloak before drawing a sword and killing the Death Eaters. She then had a house elf inform the DMLE of their demise. Amelia only knows the Slayer did it, not her identity, miss Potter took her precautions. She then went back to the Atrium, only to encounter an enraged Voldemort. Before the idiot knew she was there, she also cut of his head. My people already checked the corpse, he is completely dead this time. His anchors are gone.”

 

“But she’s dead?” Travers was shocked, “a new Slayer has been called.” He had been pleased about the death of Voldemort, not having been certain it had been Lisa, but he had suspected she had died during an unauthorized attack on Voldemort.

 

“I have no idea why that would have happened”, Saul Croaker replied, “but it might have something to do with her invisibility cloak. It somehow managed to hide her from even our sensors while she was under it. And nothing should be able to do so. Now I think of it, the Potters are rumoured to be descended from the youngest Peverell brother.”

 

 

“Irma Pince has contacted us”, Watcher-wizard Theodore Wood came running in, “her owl just arrived.”

 

Travers took the letter from the muggleborn Watcher and read it through. “Apparently she did contact us, I had forgotten how difficult communication with Hogwarts can be, it turns out that the Slayer had a vision of Death Eaters being in the Prophecy Hall and Voldemort himself in the Ministry. She informed her Watcher, who had her go and slay them”, Travers supposed the Slayer-witch had done it by the book. While it was a shame they hadn’t been able to start training her as a potential, Lisa Potter did seem to obey her Watcher. Now they had two Slayers, Travers was content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it is a bit of a cop out, but a cloak that can supposedly hide you from death itself could probably fool the Call a new Slayer thingy; it was the first time she used the cloak since being called as Slayer


	29. Another Potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorea Potter née Black (James Potter's aunt) works the Wizengamot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this lying around, and realised it fit in the collection

“Cousin”, Dorea Potter née Black, the proxy appointed by Lord James Potter as he went into hiding, addressed Lord Arcturus Black, “I have proof that your heir was not the traitor he was claimed to be. I am fully prepared to use Cassie’s black book to get custody over James’ son awarded to my own son as stated in the Potter Wills and freedom for your heir. Are you with me or not?”

 

“How did you even know Sirius was never truly disinherited?” Arcturus began, before deciding, “never mind, I really don’t want to know. What’s your proof?”

 

“A statement by Lord Potter written in a blood quill that Peter Pettigrew was the Secret Keeper and an illegal animagus, namely a rat”, Dorea replied, “I also have a copy of his memory concerning the casting of the Fidelius, which unfortunately had been done by Lily Potter herself and not by Dumbledore. And a wizard photo of Pettigrew in his animagus form. And about Sirius, I know you cousin, you would never truly disinherit one of the few intelligent members of House Black.”

 

“Dumbledore still has his power as Chief Warlock”, Arcturus reminded her.

 

“I hold enough secrets to get him ousted, especially if you get the Dark Houses behind me”, Dorea stated.

 

 

“Lord Prewitt”, Dorea approached her first target, one of the key players within the light faction, “I have an offer you can’t refuse.” Dorea went through the Light faction and the Grey in a matter of days, Arcturus did the same with the Dark faction. Dorea also approached Bartemius Crouch and Milicent Bagnold.

 

 

The Regent Potter and the Lord Black jointly walked into the Wizengamot Hall. Both sitting down on their respective seats.

 

Dumbledore began the meeting he had called with declaring he had sealed the Potter Wills.

 

“Objection”, Dorea immediately interrupted, “as the appointed Regent Potter, I hereby refute your authority to seal my nephew’s Will. Furthermore, House Potter hereby instigates a motion of No Confidence against the Chief Warlock.”

 

“House Black seconds the motion”, Arcturus added.

 

“A motion of No Confidence against the Chief Warlock has been instigated”, Lord Prewitt declared, as eldest member of the Wizengamot (normally votes were called by the Chief Warlock, but a motion against the Chief Warlock was called by the oldest member who did not have the position of Chief Warlock), “I hereby call for a vote. Those in favour of the motion, raise your wands.”

 

All of the members in the Dark faction, most of the Greys and even some of the Light faction (including Dorea herself) raised their wands.

 

“A majority has spoken”, Lord Prewitt declared, “mister Dumbledore, is no longer required in this assembly. Aurors, please escort mister Dumbledore to the visitor section.”

 

The Aurors were hesitant, but after a nod by Director Crouch, they complied.

 

 

As the tradition called, Lord Prewitt took over as acting Chief Warlock, “I hereby unseal the Potter Wills. Regent Potter, you have the word.”

 

“I have in my possession a blood quill written letter by Lord James Potter and his wife, declaring their Secret Keeper to have been Peter Pettigrew”, Dorea Potter stated, “furthermore, I have a memory copy of the casting of the Fidelius charm.” Without further ado, Dorea placed the memory in a projector pensieve.

 

“I also have a memory and a wizarding picture of Peter Pettigrew in his unregistered animagus form of a common rat.” Once again, a memory was placed in the pensieve. Dorea continued, “therefore, I call for an immediate trial for Sirius Orion Black.”

 

 

“I request veritaserum”, Sirius Black immediately declared, before baring both his arms and showing the fact there was no Dark Mark on either.

 

 

In no time, Sirius’ innocence had been proven. After Dorea had managed to have her son, Peter Potter, to be appointed as Harry Potter’s legal guardian (as stated in the Wills). Lord Prewitt ended the meeting.

 

 

Dorea, Peter and Sirius jointly approached Albus Dumbledore. “Where is my godson?” Sirius asked.

 

“It’s not too late to call everyone back”, Dorea remarked, “let’s see, kidnapping the Heir Potter and the presumed second in line for House Black. Don’t test me.”

 

 

“Even I know that Petunia Evans was adopted”, Peter Potter remarked, “and I’m only James’ cousin. There is no blood relation between her and my late cousin-in-law. Something which was written in the Will, should you have decided to actually read it and not just seal it.”


End file.
